062: Dealing with Conflict, Different Opinions and Challenging People

SUMMARY:

No matter how much you may love your job and your coworkers… you will 100% encounter conflict, different opinions and challenging people in the workplace. It’s normal! And it’s not always bad. When you come across these less-than-comfortable moments, Kevin and David are sharing what the best course of action is.

Welcome to episode 62 of the podcast.

LINKS + RESOURCES:

Brian Preston of Lamon Luther on LYP 049

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

The Johari Window Model

5 Dysfunctions Of A Team by Patrick Lencioni

THREE KEY TAKEAWAYS:

1. Not all tension is bad
Believe it or not, there’s such thing as good tension. In fact, it’s inherently healthy. Healthy tension means that there’s diverse opinions, thoughts and perspectives. Healthy tension means that you’re looking at things from many angles. This is a good thing. It means that your team isn’t a bunch of robots who think the same thing all the time, if there’s no tension then there probably isn’t much learning or growing either.

2. Seek first to understand
When you find yourself in conflict with a person, the best thing you can do is ask questions (genuinely—not condescending or passive aggressively) about why they feel the way they do. Let the other person know that you are genuinely interested in listening to their side of the conflict. Repeat back to them what you’re hearing, so that there’s no miscommunication. After doing this, you may still feel like you’re right and they’re wrong. But you gave them and yourself the opportunity to see things from the other side. Our first reaction is to defend, but it needs to be to listen.

3. Go to the person first
If you’re experiencing conflict with somebody, discuss it with them directly first. Don’t gossip with others about it or immediately tell your leader (who then may blindsight the person by speaking with them about your issue that you’ve never shared with them). Go to them, try and work towards an understanding together, and if you still can’t solve the problem then approach a leader or two together.