Ever had that feeling that things are spinning out of control?
Maybe you feel like your future rests in someone else’s hands?
Can you remember a time when you had an overwhelming sense of helplessness?
All of these feelings create significant stress and anxiety.
They may also be unnecessary.
Over the years I have become a big fan of Dr. Henry Cloud. Henry is a psychologist, author, speaker and leadership coach. He is perhaps best known for the book Boundaries, which he co-authored with Dr. John Townsend. I have had the privilege to interact with Henry while he was working with leaders at Chick-fil-A. I’ve heard him share a number of incredible principles, but perhaps my favorite is this:
YOU ARE RIDICULOUSLY IN CHARGE.
Your first response to this principle may be like mine: Wait a minute, I’m actually not in charge. My boss is in charge. Or, my professor is in charge. Or, the (you fill in the blank) committee is in charge. Or, …
Perhaps at some level that is true.
However, Henry’s point is that you are 100% in charge of you. You are in charge of your thoughts. You are in charge of your emotions. You are in charge of your decisions. You are in charge of your responses. You are in charge of your dreams, intentions, goals and plans.
And, while you may not be in charge of all of the circumstances surrounding your life, you cannot abdicate being in charge of you to anyone else.
This simple shift in your mindset can change everything.
You recognize the opportunity you have to be proactive.
You regain your sense of agency.
You understand that the responses you get from others don’t control you or define you.
You visualize yourself creating positive momentum towards those things that matter most.
Don’t like how crazy your calendar is? Guess what? You are ridiculously in charge. Not happy with your current level of health and fitness? You are ridiculously in charge. Feeling dissatisfied and stuck in your career? You are ridiculously in charge. Need to get out of debt, or repair a broken relationship, or get healthy emotionally, or learn a new skill? You got it, you are ridiculously in charge.
So, since you are in charge, what are you going to do next?
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